Nevertheless, here is an update. Yay!
So, the muse has landed. It's been such a lengthy time since I have felt any deep passion for art. After uni I was kind of left flat and without any real inspiration. Sure, there were days here and there that I would do some drawing or writing, and for a while that became a focus. But my thoughts are fleeting; its so difficult to linger on any one thing for more than a day or two.
Since coming to Japan I really wanted to make time for my art again. Whilst I don't have much of it during the week, I realised that I need to do something or nothing will ever get done. Doing a little of something every now and then is much better than never doing anything at all.
Recently I began painting, something that for the longest time has frustrated and baffled me. Glancing through my drawings and sketch books a few weeks back, I realised that everything I was creating was much too rigid. Where was the self expression, the excitement and enthusiasm? Where was my passion and creativity? Where was I? I couldn't see any of that in anything I was making. I then began to realise that part of my problem for lack of creativity is the fact that I just can't let go. This isn't just in my art either, it's something that reflects every aspect of my life. In all things, I can't let go.
For a few days I began contemplating this concept of 'letting go' and what it means. I began to see that for my art to progress anywhere, I need to break down the barriers I have in letting my thoughts and feelings out. For me this is very difficult, I am constantly concerned with people's opinions of everything I do. But I also realised that for the first time, being here in Japan, I don't have anyone to criticise what I'm making. I can paint, draw or make what I want here. No one needs to see it unless I want them to. That very notion gave me the energy to begin looking at my art more and think about what I want to achieve. For me, having a chance to play and explore is key to unlocking my true thoughts and feelings. If I can nurture my creativity, hopefully I can channel it properly into something that finally reflects what I have for a long time been trying to express.
These are some experiments I painted over the last few days. The colours aren't too great on here as most of the paints used are metallic and the light in my apartment was poor. But the focus on these is mainly texture and colour. I am enjoying the chance to play with paint and materials. I'm hoping to create some larger pieces once I can get my hands on some more supplies.
Anyway, I apologise for a lengthy post. Hopefully I will soon have some more work to put up.
For now, またね!!
